~ Endeavoring To Apply God’s Word To Every Day Life ~ ~ ~
“You are my refuge and my shield; I have put my hope in your word.” (Psalm 119:114)~ ~ ~ "Come and listen, all you who fear God;
let me tell you what he has done for me." (Psalm 66:16)~ ~
Interests:"In Christ Alone" - born again Christian - God, autism, and hope - on the journey of autism - my husband Dan - our five kids - John age 20, Natalie age 18, Philip age 17, Seth age 15, Hannah age 11 - piano playing - letter writing - missionaries - Brazil - Moms in Touch prayer group - my two indoor cats - bird watching - wildflowers - Christian historical fiction - amateur photography - Cleveland Indians - journaling - figuring out our three teenagers and one adult - enjoying Hannah before the teenage years come - studying the history of my hometown Expertise:speaking portuguese - 18-year-old daughter with autism - 15-year-old son with Type I diabetes - husband Dan is professor of electrical engineering Occupation:"keeper at home" (Titus 2:5)
“Let the field be joyful, and all that is in it. Then all the trees of the woods will rejoice before the LORD.” (Psalm 96:12)
Sunday was an unusually warm day for November. In order to get Natalie out of her room for a few hours, I planned to take Hannah and her to a nearby park to go hiking. Before we could go, Natalie had to take her weekend shower. From start to finish, it took her four hours to shower. Four hours. This long shower meant that we went walking a lot later in the afternoon than I would have preferred.
It was a beautiful time to hike, when the sun was low in the sky. It was challenging to get good pictures, having to balance light and shadows, but I found it to be fun. Although most of the leaves had already fallen from the trees, there were lingering leaves to be found, especially since the first frost has yet to hit our corner of the woods. Until the frigid winter winds arrive, I will try to continue to take advantage of these pleasant days, getting out and enjoying God’s creation around me.
HANNAH AND NATALIE
I TOOK THIS PICTURE IN HONOR OF MARK CSEPE AND ASHLEY GRUICH'S ENGAGEMENT THAT WAS ANNOUNCED EARLIER IN THE DAY
RAILROAD TRACKS ALONG THE HIKING TRAIL
SUNSET OVER A MOUND COVERED BY LEAVES
CREEK BETWEEN THE TREES
THE SUN IS TOO BRIGHT IN THIS PICTURE, BUT I LIKE HOW THE RAYS SHINE OUT IN THEIR BRILLIANCE
THIS GREEN LEAVE REMINDS ME NOT TO BE AFRAID TO BE DIFFERENT THAN THOSE AROUND ME
PATH WITH THE RAYS OF THE SETTING SUN
BRANCH OVER THE CREEK
DOWNED TREE
I LIKED THE CURVED BRANCH OVER THE PATH
I LIKE THE BURNT ORANGE COLOR - I CAN ALSO HEAR THE CRUNCH OF LEAVES JUST BY LOOKING AT THIS PICTURE
DARK ORANGE LEAVES YET TO FALL
I LIKE THE CONTRAST OF THE WHITE BARK OF THE TREES AND THE GREEN PLANTS
LEAVES NEAR A DOWNED TREE
GREEN-YELLOW LEAVES
LONG SHADOWS MADE BY THE SETTING SUN
"LET THE FIELD BE JOYFUL, AND ALL THAT IS IN IT. THEN ALL THE TREES OF THE WOODS WILL REJOICE BEFORE THE LORD." (PSALM 96:12)
He rubbed his hands together with a sense of satisfaction. Another item to cross off his list. Parental Controls. What a great invention this was for the computer, being easy to install and giving him a sense of security. Tonight, he would go to bed and sleep well, knowing that no fingers could access the dark side of the Internet while he safely slumbered away. He rubbed the small of his back. Ah, middle age. When did it creep upon him unawares?
SCENE TWO
All was finally quiet in the house, the moment he had waited for all day. After a boring day of classes at school, the worst being Algebra, he could barely keep his eyes open, but he somehow managed. After lying in his bed for what seemed like hours, he arose and stealthily crept down the hall, careful not to make a sound.
There it was, glistening in the moonlight, the love of his nights. He turned it on, listening to the gentle hum as it revved to life. His heart beat a little faster knowing he would soon be entering cyber-paradise. But, wait, what was this? No access? This had never happened before. Who had been messing around with the computer? No problem, he thought as his mind began to work overtime.
SCENE THREE
He hadn’t had such a peaceful night of sleep in a long time. He sat on the edge of the bed, stretching his limbs and feeling the blood flow through his veins. This would be a great day. He whistled a happy tune as he prepared himself for work. He packed himself two extra cookies. I deserve a little treat to celebrate my success, he rationalized. Parental Controls. They had made his life so much easier, enabling him to get a great night of rest. He continued to whistle as he walked out into the garage and got into his car. It would be a great day at work.
SCENE FOUR
He stealthily looked to the left and to the right. No one was in sight, not that anyone would be, with his dad being at the factory and all. He hurried to the task at hand, knowing his time was limited. All too soon he would hear his dad’s car coming home from work. There it was, behind the dresser. It was a small tangle of wires, but nothing that he couldn’t untangle and figure out.
He hurriedly got to work, realizing that beads of perspiration were breaking out on his forehead. He would have to buy more acne cream. That’s what he got for being a teenager. No bother though. Why, after he was done here, he would have access to his nightly cyber-world once again. He would be in control. Not, that crusty, brainless father of his.
Thankfully, he finished his deed before he heard the garage door going up. Tonight. He couldn’t wait for the cover of darkness to envelope the house as in nights past. His smile widened as he put the dresser back in place and quickly left the room. His job was done and another victory was scored. Let his dad rot for all he cared.
SCENE FIVE
Saturday. His favorite day of the week. Sure, he liked Sundays and all, but on Saturday, he could sleep in after a hard week at work. The past few days he had slept well, knowing the computer world was disabled and inaccessible at night.
As he grabbed his cup of coffee, he went to the computer. It was one of the more boring aspects of his day off, but a necessary one. Okay, keystroke program, where are you? As the effects of the coffee begin to permeate his brain, he relaxed and began. What was this? Access to the computer at 2 am, three nights in a row? What about those blasted Parental Controls? Those worthless computer programs weren’t all that they were cracked up to be. What software could you trust anymore? He heaved a sigh of anger and frustration as he saw what his son had been up to the past few nights. He heard his son’s snoring coming from down the hall, as he slept in after another week at school. When had life gotten so evil?
He remembered the days when his son would beg him to read books before bed. “Just one more time daddy, pwease?” The two would snuggle together and pray; then he would tuck his little one into bed. Those were the good old days, the good times before his wife had passed away. Now this. His son had been roaming the house at night, seeking out cyber-fun instead of getting a much-needed night of rest. No wonder his grades were slipping. Where had he gone wrong as a dad?
SCENE SIX
He was so glad he had quit the soccer team. Why, he could come home from school with two free hours without his dad being around. He hated those practices anyways. They made him sweat and then he had to go buy more acne cream. The investment was worth it though, for at school, the girls would smile at him coyly from under their eyelashes. They would make suggestions disguised as casual remarks that would always give him a thrill. With his dad gone at work, maybe one day after school one of those girls would like to come fix him a snack or something.
His dad hadn’t been the same since last Saturday. He had started staring at him with his beady eyes, scowling. What was up with his dad anyways? He wasn’t doing anything wrong, at least, nothing that he couldn’t cover up and hide under the cloak of the dark night.
As his mind was busy working, his hands were also hard at work. He had found it right away. It was so easy to download. Password Decoding Software. He would have his dad right where he wanted him. His fingers tapped the computer desk as his mind imagined this coming night. Yes, with the moon shining through the window and his dad fast asleep, he would put this new download to use. Who did his dad think he was anyways, imagining that he could outsmart his son?
SCENE SEVEN
What he really wanted to do was pitch the computer into the trash bin. Better yet, why not take it into the back yard and take an ax to it? This would give his tired, old arms something to do. His mind screamed out that he might be better off throwing his son into the trash bin. Let them take that worthless, lazy son of his off to the garbage dump. Quitting soccer and now this. Another night of pleasure at his expense.
Without giving it another thought, he reached behind the computer desk, yanking the cords from the wall. Heaving the computer up, he took it outside and flung it across the yard. He heard a shattering of something breaking. He ran to the broken computer and with all his strength, lifted it up and slammed it to the ground again. With adrenaline pouring through his body, he ran into the garage and got out the ax. It was the best feeling in the world as he poured out his anger and frustration over and over on that worthless heap of metal. How could a piece of junk cause him so much pain?
As shards of metal and plastic flew in all directions, he began to be aware of the thoughts washing through his brain. They weren’t totally foreign, for he remembered having similar notions when he was on the high school football team. It was that sense of having won, the knowledge that you were victorious over a huge and menacing force. With the computer out of the house, peace would once more reign in the household.
He picked up all the jagged and broken computer parts that he could find and dumped them into the garbage can. Going into the house, he began to whistle. Things would get better from here on out. Smiling, he sat down and poured himself a bowl of cereal. All that work had built up his appetite.
SCENE EIGHT
He hated Saturdays. He couldn’t go on the computer without his dad’s eagle eyes watching his every move. He rolled over and through bleary eyes, looked at the clock. 10:35 am. He had been hoping to get a few more hours of sleep. He thought about last night and his cyber-talk with Red Lips. It was everything he could imagine and so much more. They would have another cyber-meeting tonight at 2 am. He couldn’t wait. Dreamily, he thought of Red Lips. She promised him so much fun and pleasure, things his worthless, no-good dad couldn’t give him. He would do anything to be out of this place, away from his dad and his controlling ways. How he despised his father. He would do almost anything to get away from him.
He began to think. Would he truly do anything to escape this trash heap of a house? Hmm… Maybe he could run away and go live with Red Lips. This thought brought a smile to his face. Tonight. Tonight at 2 am he would ask her. With new resolve he didn’t know he had, he flung his feet over the side of the bed. He would get his Algebra One homework done, write that English essay on “O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo,” do the dreaded chores for his dad, and before he knew it, the clock would strike two. He couldn’t wait. “O Red Lips, Red Lips, wherefore art thou Red Lips?” He smiled at his cleverness.
He walked to the kitchen to see his dad chomping away on his daily ration of bran flakes. How could he eat that cardboard, so-called cereal? There was so much more to life. He was just about to comment, when he saw it, the empty space on the computer desk. The computer was gone; his link to fun and pleasure had disappeared.
His dad, seeing his son’s stricken and shocked looked, said, “If you are looking for something son, go look in the trash can in the garage.” His dad looked back at his newspaper and nonchalantly took another bite of cereal as if nothing had been said. The computer in the trash? He ran out to the garage and sure enough, there it was, smashed to smithereens. He heart sank. What would happen tonight at 2 am? Red Lips would be waiting and he wouldn’t show up.
Angrily, he ran into the house, down the hall, and into his bedroom, making sure the door slammed good and hard. His dad thought he was something, but no. His old man wouldn’t get the better of him. Didn’t he know that there were many more computers in the sea? Why he would save his money, buy his own computer, and put it under lock and key where his dad could never reach it. As soon as he could, he would be out of this rat-hole, for good. Who did his dad think he was anyways? Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes Master Controller of the Universe. He would show his dad who was really in charge.
He carefully erased all traces of anger from his face, replacing his countenance with silent resolve. He would be quiet about this issue and just wait it out. His dad may think that he had won, but he would soon learn that the computer war was only beginning.
“For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.” (Ephesians 6:12-13)
THIS STORY IS A PRODUCT OF MY OWN IMAGINATION BASED ON TRUE EVENTS HAPPENING OVER AND OVER IN MANY HOUSEHOLDS.
YOUNG PERSON, BE SURE YOUR SIN WILL FIND YOU OUT. DON’T LET TEMPTATION OVERTAKE YOU. IT WILL RUIN YOUR LIFE.
PARENTS, SATAN IS OUT TO DESTROY YOUR FAMILY. WHAT ARE YOU DOING ABOUT IT?
“And God made the beast of the earth according to its kind, cattle according to its kind, and everything that creeps on the earth according to its kind. And God saw that it was good.” (Genesis 1:25)
Having said goodbye to summer, it is also time to say goodbye to the critters that have visited our yard in the past few months. Some have gone into hibernation, some are still eating birdseed, but most will not come around again until the warm weather returns. I always enjoy the critters that come around, for they bring me much joy when I watch their antics. I suspect that God smiles every time they come around also...
Until next year…
“In his hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind.” (Job 12:10)
“A merry heart does good, like medicine…” (Proverbs 17:22)
Not long ago, some old movies of Dan and his Phoenix buddies were posted on the Internet. These movies were made when Dan was in his late teens in the 1970’s. Dan and I had so much fun laughing at these old movies. They are even funnier if you know the other guys involved. Dan is in every movie; you just might not recognize what he looked liked when he was a teen. I can always use laughs that make the tears roll down my face!
“The LORD will give strength to His people; The LORD will bless His people with peace.” (Psalm 29:11)
Natalie has now been in post-secondary (13th grade) at the high school for two months. I am thankful to say that life is going relatively smoothly with her. In the past, some of her extreme autistic behaviors have made for quite intense blog entries. Now, my writing about autism has slowed way down. She will be age nineteen in a few weeks; perhaps she is beginning to show signs of maturity.
When I wake her up at 6:15am for school, she eats, she grooms, she dresses, she packs her bookbag, and nine times out of ten, she makes the bus on time. This is a night and day difference from the past seven years. I am very thankful for smoother mornings.
When she comes home from school, she is pretty relaxed as long as her dad isn’t around. Once he is home, it is a given that she will lock herself in her room. She has lingering hatred towards her father since he is the authoritarian in the house. She can’t quite figure out how to deal with this. In spite of my prayers that she would reconcile with her dad, it has been nice to have her in her room in the evenings so that we can have a “normal” family for a few hours.
On the weekends, when she spends sixty hours straight in her room, I cringe and my heart cries out for her. After I give her food as I leave the room, it feels like I am closing a jail cell. It shouldn’t be this way, yet it is, for she will not make peace with her dad. I try to get her out of her room at least once or twice during the weekend for it seems like those four walls would be suffocating and claustrophobic, adding to her moans that nobody cares, nobody calls, nobody has me over to their house, and nobody likes me.
After nineteen years of severe autistic acting out, screaming, aggression, yelling, throwing things, destroying everything in her path, we have a relative peace. Peace. Peace. Peace. Sure, things are not perfect and she has the occasional meltdown, but there is peace in the house. Peace. Peace. Peace.
Say a prayer of praise and thanks to God! You have prayed us through all the hard stuff. Pray an easy prayer, one of thanksgiving to God! Amen!!!
"Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom." (Psalm 145:3)
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