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anut4dan
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Name: Annette
Gender: Female
Interests: "In Christ Alone" - born again Christian - God, autism, and hope - on the journey of autism - my husband Dan - our five kids - John age 20, Natalie age 19, Philip age 17, Seth age 15, Hannah age 11 - piano playing - letter writing - missionaries - Brazil - Moms in Touch prayer group - my two indoor cats - bird watching - wildflowers - Christian historical fiction - amateur photography - Cleveland Indians - journaling - figuring out our three teenagers and one adult - enjoying Hannah before the teenage years come - studying the history of my hometown
Expertise: speaking portuguese - 19-year-old daughter with autism - 15-year-old son with Type I diabetes - husband Dan is professor of electrical engineering
Occupation: "keeper at home" (Titus 2:5)
Message: message me
Member Since:
11/3/2006
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YESTERDAY'S SKY
“For unto us a Child is born, Unto us a Son is given; And the government will be upon His shoulder. And His name will be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” (Isaiah 9:6)
It seems like a lot of people are talking about the weather. In the past twenty-four hours, the radio has spoken of blizzards, snow, sleet, rain, flurries, strong winds, ice, biting cold, and even a double rainbow near our home.
I was out doing errands yesterday and couldn’t help but notice the sky. It was one of those expressive weather days where it was dark to the north and sunny to the south. The clouds were out in abundance and the fierce winds were making them roll and boil. The sun was doing its best to shine out through the gaps in the clouds. Once in a while, a patch of perfectly blue sky peeked through. I was so intent on looking at the drama in the sky, that I had to go park the car to keep from crashing.
God spoke clearly to me through the weather. He reminded me to stop, look, and listen.
STOP - Take out time to keep from crashing and burning, trying to get everything done for Christmas.
LOOK - Take out time to look up, taking my mind off of getting ready for Christmas. Think upward thoughts. Think God thoughts. Think about the babe in the manger who grew up to be my Savior. Look around me. Savor the season! Enjoy the lights, sounds, atmosphere, and cheer.
LISTEN – Take out time to hear what God wanted to teach me through His Word. Be a Mary, taking time to spend with God, reading the Christmas story when love came to earth in the form of a newborn baby.
In spite of the tumultuous weather, such a peace settled upon me, the peace I long for during the frazzled Christmas season. Peace, because in spite of the weather, He is in control. Peace when I think what Christmas is really about. Peace, because Jesus is the “Prince of Peace”. (Isaiah 9:6)
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“And having come in, the angel said to her, ‘Rejoice, highly favored one, the Lord is with you; blessed are you among women!’ “ (Luke 1:28)
One of my favorite radio programs is Midday Connection on Moody Radio. Last Tuesday, I was listening to the program where they were discussing the latest Christmas books and CDs. As they sometimes do, they had a drawing and eight winners would receive all the books and CDs discussed on the program.
As I typically do, I emailed my name into the station. Part of me really wanted to be one of the winners. The other part of me knew that I probably wouldn’t win, but I still emailed my name in with a prayer, that the will of God would be done. Little did I know that I would be one of the winners!
The next day when a friend pointed out that I was one of the winners, I was in shock. I was so excited to receive this Christmas package, but my excitement wasn’t even because of that. It was because out of all the people listening to the program, I had been chosen; I had been picked! God knew that I was in need of a heavenly hug and allowed my name to be chosen! I felt as if this wonderful Christmas gift had been given to me straight from the hands of Jesus!
I thought about Mary, the mother of baby Jesus. She was the chosen one, the one given the awesome blessing and responsibility of bearing the baby Jesus, the Immanuel “God with us” (Matthew 1:23) who was promised from the beginning. “Then she (Elizabeth) spoke out with a loud voice and said, 'Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb!' ” (Luke 1:42) She was probably in shock that out of all the women in the world, she was the one chosen for this task. She probably had a myriad of emotions as reality set in and she realized she was pregnant by the Holy Spirit. Her thoughts are recorded for us as she asks the age-old question of “Why me?” "But why is this granted to me, that the mother of my Lord should come to me?” (Luke 1:43) Her beautiful prayer of awe and wonder is recorded for us to read.
“And Mary said: ‘My soul magnifies the Lord,
And my spirit has rejoiced in God my Savior.
For He has regarded the lowly state of His maidservant;
For behold, henceforth all generations will call me blessed.
For He who is mighty has done great things for me,
And holy is His name.
And His mercy is on those who fear Him From generation to generation.
He has shown strength with His arm;
He has scattered the proud in the imagination of their hearts.
He has put down the mighty from their thrones,
And exalted the lowly.
He has filled the hungry with good things,
And the rich He has sent away empty.
He has helped His servant Israel, In remembrance of His mercy,
As He spoke to our fathers, To Abraham and to his seed forever.’ “ (Luke 1:46-55)
In some slight, remote way, I relate to Mary this year. I still can’t believe that I am the beneficiary of these twelve books and seven CDs. I thank the Lord that I was chosen to receive this gift and because of it, I may bless the lives of others!
BOOKS –
The True Saint Nicholas - by William J. Bennett
25 Days, 26 Ways to Make This Your Best Christmas Ever - by Ace Collins
The Christmas Lamp – by Lori Copeland
The Heart of Christmas – by Hank Hanegraaff
The Christmas Secret – by Donna VanLiere
Touching Wonder – by John Blase
Advent Conspiracy – by Rick McKinley
Chris Seay, and Greg Holder
The Great Christmas Bowl – by Susan May Warren
The Sound of Sleigh Bells – by Cindy Woodsmall
The Christmas Kitchen - by Tammy Maltby
Christmas in My Home and Heart – by Robin McGraw
CDs –
An Alto Flute Christmas with Christine Wyrtzen
Glory in the Highest – Chris Tomlin
Christmas Joy – misc. authors
Christ is Come – Big Daddy Weave
Christmas Is – Mark Harris
Believe – 33 Miles
How Many Kings - DownHere
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MY PARENT'S HOME DECORATED FOR CHRISTMAS - I AM THANKFUL
THAT MY PARENTS GIVE ME RESPITE TIME FROM MY CARETAKING DUTIES
“My tears have been my food day and night…” (Psalm 42:3)
Lately, I have been doing a lot of crying. It seems like I can’t get a grip on this caretaking role as of late. I have been trying to figure out the WHY of my crying so that I can work on a solution.
I think that there are two main reasons for my tears. First of all, the caretaking role gets old. Day after day it is a repetition of caring for our daughter, staying in her room as she eats, hearing all her problems, and trying to get her to groom. Just about the time you get it done, it’s time to repeat it again. It gets to a point where I resent the caretaking role. I hate not being able to go to church, to go out when I want, to do what I want, or fill in the blank. It’s hard when you are forced into a caretaking role. I cry for a loss of freedom.
The second main reason that I am crying is just sheer fatigue. I am tired and weary. The solution to this is sleep or rest. This is hard to do when you are a mother of five and have demands coming from every direction. One thing I know is that I have a new respect for caretakers. It is a difficult and sometimes unwanted role. It strips you and robs you of time with your family, time to rest, and time to fellowship with your fellow believers at church.
I am thankful for my husband who lets me go to sleep early. He takes over with the kids and locks up the house so that I can get my rest. I am thankful for the family of God that cares and prays for us. I am thankful for our family that loves us and helps us out. I am thankful for my friends who are there for me. I am thankful for the Holy Spirit who ministers to me, day after day. I am thankful for God’s Word, for in it I find hope, peace, and joy. You read that right, JOY in spite of the tears.
“Weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning.” (Psalm 30:5)
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YESTERDAY'S SUNRISE - "THROUGH THE LORD'S MERCIES WE ARE NOT
CONSUMED, BECAUSE HIS COMPASSIONS FAIL NOT. THEY ARE NEW EVERY
MORNING; GREAT IS YOUR FAITHFULNESS." (LAMENTATIONS 3:22-23)
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13)
Most people know that we go through a pretty rough time in parenting our nineteen-year-old daughter with autism. The most asked question presented to me is, “How do you do it?” Statements are made to me over and over of, “I don’t know how you do it.”
My typical answers to these people are pretty lame. On the spur of the moment, it is hard to come up with an answer that would be less than a ten-minute speech on autism and God’s intervention in my life. One answer that I give a lot is, “I don’t.” It is the most honest answer that I can give, for I don’t do autism. I am unable to do it. More times than not, I lay on my bed helpless, crying, unable to handle it one more day, one more hour, or one more minute. Hearing that your child has autism would probably be the most painful thing that I would ever want to happen to a couple. It is one of the worst crushing blows of parenthood.
Yet, an oxymoron to this all is that when you look at the big picture, I am doing it. I am surviving each day being a mother to her. I am getting her to eat, dress, and go to school. I have gotten her to the point of graduating from high school and into post-secondary school. In spite of her autism, she speaks, she can carry on a conversation, she is intelligent, and she goes to school five days a week.
What people don’t see is Natalie’s heart. They don’t see her despair and anguish of not being able to understand people around her. They don’t hear her scream and cry about her misinterpretations of others who just want to help her or be her friend. She thinks that others are all out to get her. She thinks that they hate her and want her dead. She sees very little in her life that is worth living. At most times, her phone sits silent. She will not go to church, so she sees no church friends (outside of the school atmosphere). She thinks that no boy will ever love her or want to marry her. She is lonely and mostly forgotten about. She thinks that a solution to life is to hurt herself or end it all.
When I look at Natalie’s social, emotional, and spiritual needs, I cannot help but conclude that I am NOT doing it, that I am not succeeding. As of yet, I haven’t been able to untangle her miswired brain to the point where she can read a face, understand an expression, interpret people’s motives, or know how to make a friend. Because of the combination of having autism and being a young adult, Natalie lives in a world of despair, anguish, and negativity. She doesn’t understand a loving God who would allow her to have autism; therefore she concludes that God hates her. She is rash and is prone to meltdowns and crying fits. I have few, if any solutions for her and that makes me feel like a very helpless mom.
Let’s take a moment and add God to this picture. God looks at Natalie and with compassion, weeps for what she is going through, yet contrarily, He also smiles because in His eyes, she is perfectly made. He knows that because sin entered this world, disease, depravity, and disabilities soon followed, allowing autism to be a part of her life. He hears Natalie’s every heart cry. He understands her autistic brain, yet He still looks on her as beautiful, inside and out. To Him, she is perfect, because she is made in His image. At any time He could heal her, but He chooses not to in order to fulfill His perfect plan.
God sees me as Natalie’s mom. He knows that in order for me to become more Christ-like and to bear fruit, He has to do a lot of pruning and has to put me through the refining fire. He allows me to suffer, for He sees the bigger picture in mind of what He wants me to become. He sees the outcome of His plan and to Him, it is beautiful and perfect. God uses Natalie in my life to make me more into His image.
“God is my helper…” (Psalm 54:4) Every day in His grace and mercy, He equips me to be Natalie’s mother. He doles out patience and endurance. He gives me creative skills to get her to eat. He gives me ideas to manipulate her into bathing. He gives me the right responses when she is screaming about what a student or teacher said to her that day. He bears the load for me, taking it off my shoulders, and putting it on His. That doesn’t mean that I don’t cry. It means that I am at peace, resting in the security of His Sovereignty and being comforted by His Holy Spirit. Probably the most precious to me are the glimpses that He gives me into the heavenly kingdom where Natalie is whole and with a sound mind.
When I am asked, “How do you do it?” the correct answer still is, “I don’t.” For you see, it is God who does it, not me. It is God who works through me to accomplish the task of mothering Natalie, autism and all. In all honestly, I wouldn’t want it to be any other way.
~~~
Thank you, heavenly Father, for allowing me to be the parent of Natalie, for choosing me as you chose Mary, to carry out Your divine assignment here on earth. Thank you for counting me worthy, for equipping me, and for helping me each day. You are worthy to be praised for what you have done, what You continue to do, and for what You will do in Natalie’s life and in mine. To you be the honor and glory forever and ever. Amen.
~~~
“…for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure.” (Philippians 2:13)
“Now may the God of peace who brought up our Lord Jesus from the dead, that great Shepherd of the sheep, through the blood of the everlasting covenant, make you complete in every good work to do His will, working in you what is well pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen.” (Hebrews 13:20-21)
NATALIE - THE FACE OF AUTISM - THIS PICTURE WAS TAKEN ON ONE OF OUR
RECENT WALKS. IT DEPICTS THE DESPAIR AND ANGUISH THAT SHE GOES
THROUGH ON A DAILY BASIS. AS A MOM, THIS PICTURE BREAKS MY HEART.
I HAVE TO LOOK AWAY AND REMEMBER THAT GOD HAS A BEAUTIFUL
FUTURE IN STORE FOR HER.
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BORN IN 1969 - BABY NUMBER EIGHT - A CHRISTMAS GIFT FOR MY PARENTS
“But he who is greatest among you shall be your servant.” (Matthew 23:11)
Congratulations to my sister Darla on her milestone birthday yesterday!
I admire my sister for many reasons, one of the tops being her servant-like heart!
Happy Birthday!
I AM HOLDING MY NEWBORN SISTER, NINE YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME
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